I recently realized I was sabotaging myself. Actually, I wasn”t sabotaging myself – my subconscious-self was secretly sabotaging my conscious-self. I know, right? It sounds like something out of a Stephen King novel. It was THAT traumatic. Kind of like the moment you realize “redrum” was actually “murder” spelled backwards. TRAU.MAT.IC. (Make sure to enunciate the syllables and pause between each syllable. It makes it more dra.ma.tic. You”ll find that my unconscious-self is also *overly* dramatic.)

So anyway, as part of my 2012 goals, I, or more specifically, my conscious-self, decided that I would run a marathon this year. I hired a personal trainer, Danielle Pellicano. (Read about my first session with Pellicano here. This post is VERY traumatizing, so be forewarned.)

My conscious-self did not bother to tell my subconscious-self that we were running a marathon. My conscious-self knew that it would only cause my subconscious-self to fear, to anger, to self-doubt, and most annoyingly of all – to whine. (My subconscious-self can be an incessant whiner.) So, conscious-self made a decision to ignore subconscious-self. And instead, conscious-self told everyone else instead. Conscious-self began running (figuratively) around town, telling everyone she knew:

I”m going to run a marathon this year!

She told her husband. She told her friends. She even told her neighbors – those that would listen. She announced it on FB! She TWEETED it. And she continued to ignore the subconscious-self – because she knew: the subconscious-self was lazy, and would find out too late to be able to change our mind.

The conscious-self thought she had won! She had been training with a personal trainer for 3 weeks – and although grueling, she was growing stronger. The whining and self-doubt were less and less present. Until one day, upon arriving for her personal training appointment with Pellicano, she realized:

I *!%*!ing. FORGOT. my running shoes.

That *bitch* – subconscious-self is sabotaging me!

At this very moment, conscious-self felt sick in the pit of her stomach. The heart they shared felt gripped, torn and caged. This is what panic and TRAU.MA. feel like. Things had been going along so well, when


A direct punch to the stomach, just when conscious-self least expected it.

What did Pellicano have to say to all this drama and trauma?

No Worries! You can go back home and pick them up. The gym will be here when you get back. 🙂

Drama. Trauma. – Gone in the span of 2 seconds. Talk about magic super powers!

And guess what? I haven”t seen that whiny sabotaging bitch since.

The thing about self-sabotage is – we all do it. We set goals. We dare to dream. And just when we”re taking a few steps casino online in the right direction, we sabotage ourselves. We put obstacles in our own way. We *forget* our running shoes. We spend all out time doing anything else because we”re “too busy” – when in actuality, we”re afraid we *might* fail. We”re afraid of a little discomfort. We”re outside our comfort zone. We whine. We whine. We whine some more. We think about all the reasons why NOT. We create unnecessary drama and trauma.

There are 3 wonderful things you should know about self-sabotage:

  1. YOU can stop it. Look for the signs that you are sabotaging your own goals – and STOP! DROP! ROLL! DO anything to stop that self-doubt dead in its tracks. And then – get back ONTO your one way street to success.
  2. A TRUE Friend/Genuine Cheerleader can stop your self-sabotage. Remember: “Drama. Trauma. Gone in the span of 2 seconds.” TRUE Friends and Genuine Cheerleaders who are on your side have that magic super power. Seek them out and make sure they know what your goals are. They”ll STOP you dead in your tracts the moment that self-sabotaging bitch shows up.
  3. YOU can be someone else”s TRUE Friend & Genuine Cheerleader! Don”t let them make excuses. – Help them get out of their own way! PS – do it with a smile!

That was last week. The week I “forgot” my running shoes. This week, I ran my first “long run” – 3 miles without any pain in my IT band. (Since September of last year, pain in my IT band had prevented me from running!) There”s no way I would have been able to accomplish that goal if I let a little self-sabotaging get in my way. (Thank you Danielle!) That”s a success even my subconscious-self can be happy about!

What’s your dream?

PS – Dream BIG!

-Daisy Nguyen

Dreamer. Writer. Creator.


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This week, I”m submitting to Yeah Write! – A group of great blogs. Come check us out, and on Thursday, March 15th, 2012, come back and vote for your three faves!